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Non-Negotiables

Be kind.

Be safe.

Be respectful.

 

In my music classroom, these are my non-negotiables. Any space that is filled with children needs guidelines. Simplifying my classroom expectations has become a life lesson for me and my students.


Instead of a long list of dos and don’ts, we navigate our way together with the expectation that we are to aim for kindness, safety, and respect in everything we do.

 

The first step to implementing this set of guidelines was to help my students understand what “non-negotiable” meant. Trust me, these children know how to negotiate, but they weren’t clear on the meaning of a non-negotiable.

 

Negotiating goes on daily in my classroom. It usually goes like this, “if we finish our work, can we play Pass the Beat?” Or “If we promise not to talk, can we sit by our friends today?”  Or “If we win the game, can we have a Skittle?”

 

Teaching them that a non-negotiable is an absolute – a guideline with no exceptions was new for some of them. My goal was to help them understand that our behaviors can be filtered through the lens of kindness, safety, and respect.

 

Kindness. We defined kindness as uplifting words, treating each other with tenderness, accepting differences, and being gentle with mistakes.

 

Safety. For us, safety means keeping our physical bodies safe and providing a safe space for feelings, expressions, and thoughts.

 

Respect. There’s nothing a teacher appreciates more than respect for his or her role in the classroom. That means good manners and no eye-rolling. Our room is a place where every voice is heard, and every life is honored.

 

These are big expectations for such young lives, but I view this as foundation-building.

 

In the church setting my ministry was to help children build a faith foundation – to know the stories of God and God’s people, and to follow God’s way. My work in the classroom is also about building foundations for children.

 

Kindness, safety, and respect are used to measure everything we do. They are the building blocks for God’s command to love each other and love our neighbor as ourselves.

 

With my students, the question isn’t, “Why did you do that?” The question is, “Was that kind, safe, or respectful?” From that point, we build an understanding that the choices we make have consequences.

 

God laid some non-negotiables before us too. In Micah 6:8 we read, “What does the Lord require of you but to do justice, love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?” These are the measuring sticks for the children of God.

 

Things tend to fall apart when we lose sight of God’s non-negotiables. Our egos take over, and we lose connection with our true selves. It happens in the classroom, the workplace, the political arena, and yes, even in the church.

 

In the current climate in which we live, we are being called to examine our relationships with the world, with each other, and with ourselves. Instead of falling into the habit of dwelling in the shallow space, it is time to allow ourselves to be led to the deeper places – the place where only God’s spirit can lead us. It is time to seek to understand the depths of our fellow brothers and sisters and view them through the lens of God’s non-negotiables of justice, loving-kindness, and mercy.

 

 

 

 

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